Probably worth reading this log to even have a clue what I am talking about in this one.
It might have been Cal Newport that introduced me to the idea that we have a small part of our brain for figuring out the planning side of things. You know like in the summer chop wood so you are not cold in the winter.
In a modern world of the information worker where we are often balancing multiple projects (or sub parts of a bigger project) we use this part of the brain a lot. It has limited capacity and if you overload it, it slows down a lot. Some people argue this is the cause of burn out we all so often see happen in information workers.
Now I don't know if any of it is backed by actual data but it is a useful model. It was also why the idea of attempting to do 4 things at once was not a good idea. Perhaps it would work if I was only doing those 4 things. I am also balancing a family and a pretty hectic work environment. Explaining to a new scrumm master the depenency of an issue and realising I am tracking multiple of these in my head at any one time, plus attempting to do deep work in two related areas of code was quite something.
So my planning brain is tried by the time I get to doing things at home. I suspect the system talked about in the link above works really well for someone running their own business.
It is good to fail at this early. I need to try something different. Perhaps just doing the opposite and focussing on one thing at a time but having strict end goals. Sort of 30 days of focus and then flip or do a few small things to recharge and then back to it.
This would be a linearising the things I want to do. The hard part if staying on task so to speak. Which means doing things I am 100% motivated by, not things I think I should be learning! Plus it would give me a data points at both extremes.
Writing this has convinced me to give it a go. Thanks public diary thing.
Things are going ok, sleep was the next alteration I was going to make. I don't think I have been that sucessful just yet. However I am certainly feeling less tired than a few weeks go. It may be that a version of stocism that has surging up into my character. I am really enjoying just not giving a F**k about that much. This probably means better sleep even if I still have work to do there.
A couple of things about, my version of, stocism. I have not read that widely on it. It has not reduced my drive for work or life, this appears to be othogaonal to how much stocism I apply. I seem to be managing to only apply it the low/stressful situations, it has not taken the colour out of life.
Yep I have been working on my mental health as well. Honestly it is not something I feel super comfortable talking about, I am on the verge of deleting this section. Sorry just the wrong generation. I guess thank you younger generation for being so open it really helps us oldies better understand ourselves!
I definitely don't face problems anything like the problems other face, I never go lower than not great and really am focussing on improving the medium value to something good.
Bringing it back to physical health. The next step it start to run again, frequently. Initially just a couple of miles. I have not been exercising much this year as I wanted to focus on health and exercise often derails it. Rewarding myself after a good run or just plain hunger it induces. So I want to train my body to exercise when I am in a fasted state.
To be in a fasted state I have to run in the morning. A secondary effect is this should curtail my later nights.
In summary, going to start running again, dropping down to one at home project for any given time (Clear goals and limited duration). A, personal version of, Stoicism is a great lense onto the world.